“Hello. I am Doctor Spring. I am here to help.”
“Sir, please do not pick the ants from the peonies.”
“Yes. Thank you, sir. Please remain calm and keep your hands at your sides. There, that’s perfect. Sir, I have been reviewing your file and it is clear to me – obvious, really – that you are experiencing Pervasive Peony Picking disorder. You see, sir, you cannot resist picking the ants from the peonies.”
“SIR! Do not touch the ants! Remove your hands from the plant. There, now. Thank you, sir. My good man, we can cure this ailment but I need your cooperation. What? It bothers you that the ants crawl upon the peonies?”
“Well, now, sir. That is entirely understandable. Your sense of what is right and proper dictates to you that the ants should stay away from the peonies. But I’m afraid, sir, that we must allow the ants to crawl at will. Why? You ask? Well, now, because it is nature’s way, sir. The ants have been crawling upon the peonies as long as there have been peonies, sir. What? I’m sorry, sir. I cannot explain WHY from a detailed scientific perspective. I am here to help YOU, not explain away the mysteries of the universe.”
SLAP
Doctor Spring slaps the man’s hand as he reaches out to pick another ant from the peony.
“Step away from the PEONY!”
“Hmmm” Doctor Spring thinks to himself. “This dude is troubled. I must distract him. Hmmm….. how about Ox-Eye Daisy Therapy?”
“Sir,” says the doctor with a broad, engaging smile, “I would like to show you something. Look over here.”
“See the pretty daisies?”
“Beautiful, aren’t they? Step close. Reach out and touch one.”
The man rubs the daisy, appears utterly disengaged and turns back towards the peonies.
“Oh no, sir. Not that way. Here. This way. Behold the rhododendron.”
“And look upon the lucky clover.”
“Yes sir. Now allow yourself to be dazzled by the dame’s rocket.”
“Come close.”
“Step right in amidst the flowers.”
“There now sir. See? No ants on the dame’s rocket. Yes, it’s nice.”
Doctor Spring is on a roll. One more distraction, then some rest. That will do it.
“Oh sir. Look at this! Look into the east woods.”
“The woods are in full bloom! Yes, it’s nice. Come, I see a sunny glade.”
Doctor Spring feels the patient relax – feels his attention become fully engaged with the forest floor.
“Come, sir. Let us rest. Let us lie amidst the pretty flowers, close our eyes and rest.”
“Yes sir. There you go. Relax. Close your eyes. Allow sleep to come.”
The patient drifts away. He drifts into a soft slumber as the birds sing and gentle breeze wafts across his face. He drifts away, dreaming…. dreaming of a beautiful peony, covered with ants.
In Jim's Garden 
What a lovely story :)! And leave the ants on the peonies, they have been there forever!
Thank you so much. Yes, leave the ants, as the doctor orders. Cheers. 🙂
Jim…your garden is glorious! I just love the way you weave the beauty into a story every day. It truly makes my morning each time I receive a new entry in my email box. I’m concerned you have a mustard garlic problem in your woods, though (although it’s hard to tell without a closer up photo of the blooms). Those pretty white flowers are deceptive. Look it up. I don’t want to tarnish this beautiful blog with any bad news, but you’re such an incredible observer (and appreciator!) of beautiful nature, I thought you’d want to know. Thank you for your stories, and your amazing pictures. I really look forward to seeing them every time!
Thank you for your kind comments Julie. I’m thrilled that you look forward to my stories. That’s great!
As for the mustard garlic…. Yes, we have a mustard garlic problem. No, you shouldn’t have detected that in this post. The lovely glade in the east woods is a pretty lavender colored flower. I believe it to be naturally occurring, but I don’t know the name (you wonder why I make up stories – perhaps because I don’t actually know anything!) It is sprinkled throughout our woods and adorning the sides of the driveway. It is rather thick in the east woods this week and it is beautiful. Naturally, it found its way into a story.
For a discussion of mustard garlic, I refer you to a previous post titled “April 18, 2014 – Stone Bunny and the Woodland Flowers.” The mustard garlic is there. It’s invasive. I fight it. It is winning. I can remove it from our land, but a nearby property which was once a horse farm but is now left to grow wild is just chock full of the stuff. I expect the seeds will drift onto us forever. Alas, Bluebell Valley survives through the toil of the determined human.
Thanks again for reading. I’m genuinely glad you like the stories. 🙂
Oh my ! A garden blog after my own heart! I’m in!
Great. Awesome. See you around! Thanks for following – I’m looking forward to your future posts. 🙂
Delightful story 🙂 Such a beautiful garden! I can’t wait to see the peony blooms. Here is too warm to grow peony.
Thanks Amy. Too warm for peonies? Awww, shucks. Have a great day! 🙂
I thought they like cold winter, no (?) Happy weekend!
Very clever story! I enjoyed it.
I’m very glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading, Emily. And thanks for the feedback. It is more fun knowing that a few folks actually read and enjoy the stories. Have an excellent day! 🙂
Clever! Doctor who-did-you-say ?
Doctor Spring. Certainly not Doctor Who. He would take a much different approach to healing…….. Thanks Debra! 🙂
Entertaining – and clever!
Just yesterday I was wondering why the ants love the peony buds. And ‘dames rocket’ — I wonder if that’s the wild pink phlox that’s growing in my garden? Can’t quite tell.
Thanks Cynthia. Did the plant of the wild pink phlox come up last fall and spend the winter above ground? Probably looking like it should have stayed well below, nicely insulated like sensible perennials. If so, it may well be Dame’s Rocket (Hesperis Matronalis). It spends the winter above ground in full leaf, much suffering. At least it does around here. I think it is a biennial, but apparently we have the right rhythm as it blooms every year. It is a wild plant as far as I can tell. Have a great day. 🙂
OK. Thanks for that. Our plant did not spend winter above ground. At least, I think not! And it’s as prolific as a weed.
Beautiful pictures and entertaining text!
Thanks Libby! Have an excellent day this Memorial Day Monday. 🙂
Beautiful, but what a sad, hopeless case 😉
Thanks. Doctor Spring never turns down a tough case. 🙂
Such beauty and an engaging story to go with it. Blessings to you, Jim..
Thank You. I’m glad you liked the story. Doctor Spring is a fun character for me. 🙂
Hi Jim! Your photos are really fabulous…I am a fan of your perspective. Unabashed and unapologetic! Really great work. It was making me ponder last spring – 2013 – and here the Norway Maple trees were so thick and abundant with flowers and seeds…almost like they knew of the impending winter. I’m thinking your winter was similar to ours and wondered if you have seen any sort of anomalies that reflected last years impending winter or now afterwards.
Hi. Thank you. Such compliments from an artist. 🙂 You know, I don’t think I’m sharp enough to detect the impending winter. Sure didn’t see last winter coming. In fact, I started the blog when I did because I thought the great snow we had in early January might be the big one and I wanted to start the blog with scenes of winter. Yeah. O.K. Little did I know what we were in for. All that said, the maple trees produced prodigious amounts of whirligigs this year. YIKES!